Oh my word, people! These COVID-19 vaccines are such a no-brainer. Only a complete doofus would consider not getting them. Every single day I see more reasons why you absolutely NEED this vaccine.
Run, I mean sprint, to your nearest pharmacy or doctor’s office so you can get your boosters. Back in April I gave you 13 reasons why you needed the first round. Here are five more.
(And if you’re wondering about whether your kid needs every vaccine on the childhood schedule, the answer is a resounding YES! Shout it from the rooftops! Of course the Seedy Sea is right about that too.)
1. You want to support the luxury real estate purchases of Moderna and Pfizer executives!
These pharmaceutical executives have money coming out their ears right now. And they’re spending their cold hard cash on luxury homes. After all, what’s a mere $4.95 million for a condo when your company’s making revenue to the tune of $18.5 billion?
One exec told a real estate agent, “I want the same home, but I need to be one floor higher than Pfizer.”
And, yeppers, he was being serious.
You can read all about the unbelievably fabulous lifestyles your decision to get the vaccines and boosters is funding in this Wall Street Journal article.
Except—oopsie daisy!—it’s behind a paywall. And there’s that little matter of all the money you’re hemorrhaging to try to heal your brain, heart, and body from the vaccine injuries (see #2).
2. You can’t wait to get your very own case of VITT!
VITT is the acronym for Vaccine-induced Immune Thrombotic Thrombocytopenia (VITT). It’s a side effect from the COVID-19 vaccines. If it doesn’t kill you (which it likely will), it will ruin your life.
In February of 2021, a “pro-thrombotic” syndrome was observed in people who received the ChAdOx1 CoV-19 vaccine (AstraZeneca, University of Oxford, and Serum Institute of India), an adenoviral vector-based vaccine.
But that’s not all!
Similar findings were observed in people who received the Ad26.COV2.S vaccine (Janssen; Johnson & Johnson), also based on an adenoviral vector.
Vaccine-induced immune thrombotic thrombocytopenia “is not feasible to anticipate or prevent,” according to a peer-reviewed article published in the journal Critical Care Management.
So, my little pretties, if you get a splitting headache (worse than the one Zeus had before giving birth to Athena), and you have some delightful neurological symptoms, along with a touch of abdominal pain perhaps, or some lovely shortness of breath, or a little limb pain/swelling that all begin from 5 to 30 days after you’ve had one of these vaccines, you might have VITT.
Ask your doctor to check your platelet count and d-dimer levels.
That is, if you’re still alive. There’s no guarantee.
VITT is likely what just killed actor Sam Gannon, age 31. As well as athlete Dillion Quirke, age 24, who collapsed and died mid-game (completely normal, happens all the time).
It was the CONFIRMED cause of death for a mum in Britain who died from a "catastrophic" bleed on the brain caused by the COVID-19 vaccines, according to the coroner. Kim Lockwood was only 34. I’m sure her family is devastated that super glad she got the shots.
3. You always wanted to be a pin cushion!
Why get a one and done or a two-dose series when you can get more and more and more? The vaccines aren’t working to stop the spread of COVID-19. In fact, they’re making people who get them more susceptible to the virus, according to the most recent peer-reviewed science.
So three, four, even five vaccines are now being recommended.
Hallelujah! Super fun to keep getting them and getting them and getting them!
4. Your relatives need something to write about on Facebook!
Listen, when you die or you’re permanently injured from these vaccines (see #2), it gives your loved ones something to write about on social media. Kyle Melvin Longshore’s family is devastated delighted to have this opportunity. Yours will be too.
5. It’s a safer, more reliable way to get protection than getting sick!
Well, okay, so it doesn’t work. You get sick anyway. But it’s a safer more reliable way to get sick protection from COVID-19. That’s what the Moderna Google Ad says anyway. And I for one know that Big Pharma is better at keeping me safe than my immune system. After all, Big Pharma has a lovely track record. They don’t care about their profit margins. They just care about my health. (See #1.) I believe Moderna and Pfizer and Johnson & Johnson and you should too!
I’m not crying. You’re crying.
Besides, I don’t have time to cry. I’m too busy being admitted to the hospital for the life-threatening vaccine reaction I’m having right now.
Smell ya later.
Jennifer Margulis, Ph.D., is an award-winning science journalist, book author, and sought-after speaker. She holds an B.A. from Cornell University, an M.A. from the University of California at Berkeley, and a Ph.D. from Emory. Despite all these “duh”grees, she remains committed to being open-minded and willing to reconsider any point of view in the face of new evidence. She is also the daughter of the evolutionary biologist, Lynn Margulis, Ph.D., who, together with recently deceased atmospheric chemist James Lovelock, devised the Gaia Hypothesis. Support independent journalism by subscribing to Jennifer Margulis’s channel (which costs less than a cup of coffee a month), and sign up for her private weekly email list at www.JenniferMargulis.net.
Thank you for another brilliant sales pitch, Jennifer!
This part is actually true with one modification:
"completely normal, happens all the time … now."
I love this!!! Humor is one way to defeat the ridiculous sheep-response to the Seedy Sea!