Things Have a Way of Working Out

Mar 03, 2025

Two weeks ago, my dear friend and colleague, writer Michelle O’Neil, sent a version of this newsletter to her readers. She (and her daughter Riley) generously gave me permission to reprint it here.

Things Have a Way of Working Out

Guest post by Michelle O’Neil

My daughter Riley is 24 and on the spectrum. When the world shut down, her link to community ended.

Choirs and choruses have always been her safe spaces and where she’s found her people. But then the singing stopped. The social isolation and other factors associated with the lockdowns caused depression and regression for her.

It’s been a long road to get her back to good mental health.

Moving to a new state didn’t help.

We’ve lived in South Carolina for over two years now. A little over a year after we moved here from Florida, Riley started singing in a community chorus once a week. Still, I felt she needed more so we began looking for a church choir.

One of my yoga students told me about her church. She said the choir director was wonderful, and kind.

My husband and I were both raised Christian but we haven’t been churchgoers for quite some time. We’re one of those “spiritual but not religious” families.

I watched one of the church’s livestream services to check it out. The choir was fabulous. They’re a huge group, with a giant organ, an orchestra section, and a very big sound.

The director was warm and welcoming and Riley hopped in with no hesitation, performing in a concert with them just a month later.

I asked Riley what it felt like to sing in such a large group.

"It feels like...oh...so this is why I exist?" she said.

So now between the two groups, Riley has rehearsals twice a week and is singing in the church choir every Sunday. We hear her singing all over the house again. A gray cloud has lifted.

Recently Riley came home from church choir rehearsal where there had been a workshop with a renowned choir director who is also a composer. The following week she came home excited because that director invited the choir to perform in New York City.

Later this year, during her first visit to New York City, my daughter Riley will be singing at Carnegie Hall.

I took her to the “wrong” church

Here’s the funny thing. After Riley got acclimated to the church choir and loved it, I discovered I’d taken her to the wrong church.

This wasn’t the church my student had recommended.

(In my defense there are more churches than you can shake a stick at in South Carolina, and both churches had the same name).

“Things have a way of working out,” my grandmother always said.

When your child is struggling, that can be hard to remember.

When you’re struggling, that can be hard to remember.

Sometimes when we’re in the wrong place, we’re actually in the right place.

My grandmother also always said, “Keep the faith.”

This breathe in.

This breathe out.

I'm trying. I really am.

Vibrant Life

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